๐ŸŽน It's only taken me 42 years to talk about this...


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I bombed my semi-finals at the National Chopin Competition in 1984.

That was the last thing I expected, after spending a year in 7th heaven, working exclusively on Chopin.

Etudes, a scherzo, ballade, nocturne, waltz and polonaise. An opus of mazurkas, 6 preludes, the E minor Concerto, and one piece I didn't give enough time. The 2nd Sonata.
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I drew #1 in playing order and started round one with a flawless performance of the C Major Etude.

It served its purpose and got the judges' attention.

Earlier rounds were going exceptionally well.
โœ… Etudes Op. 10 No. 1, Op. 25 No. 8
โœ… F Major Nocturne
โœ… 4th Scherzo
โœ… A flat Ballade
โœ… Preludes Nos. 11 - 16
โœ… F Major Waltz
โœ… F sharp minor Polonaise
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I was at the top of my game until the semi-finals. Op 17 Mazurkas and 2nd Sonata.

I had performed the E minor Concerto many times with orchestra and knew I had it in the bag if I made finals.

But I had a huge hurdle to climb first playing the 2nd Sonata. On top of it not being as prepared as the rest of the Chopin, I had just found out my Nana had a stroke and was hanging onto her life.

It shook me and I lost my focus.

To say I didn't play my best would be a huge understatement. I had more memory slips than I can count on one hand, and I couldn't wait to get off stage.

After it was all over, I heard from the judges that I was a shoo-in for the finals until that disastrous round.

I wanted to give up, not only the Sonata but the PIANO. That's how bad it was.

But, I didn't.

My Nana passed away and I was a mess.

I allowed myself time to grieve, not only her passing, but my horrendous performance.

And when I eventually re-surfaced, I strengthened muscles I didn't know were that weak.

I talked to my gremlins and decided I was going to confront them and really master the B-flat Minor Sonata.

I don't know how long it took, but I had it ready to perform in Warsaw in 1985.

And 4 years later, I gave a rock solid performance of it in the 2nd half of my 1989 Cliburn audition.

That sonata taught me something I still lean on.
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It's always the love of the music itself that gets me to return to it, again and again and again. โ™พ๏ธ

That's what got me through those five years. And that love walked onto the stage with me in 1989.
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โ–ถ๏ธ Watch here on YouTube
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Watch the ending of the 1st movement on Instagram

video previewโ€‹

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If you ever wanted to give up after a weak performance, know that you aren't alone. It happens to the best of us.
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Play On,
Lisa Spector
Piano Practice Strategist
Founder,
Piano Ninja Tricksters Clubโ€‹
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Lisa Spector, Piano Ninja

Juilliard graduate helping dedicated adult pianists who love challenging repertoire practice less while learning more.

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